I’m not exactly sure of her timeline, but if you’ve been reading J’s blog, you know that she is now married and will be returning from her honeymoon soon. In honor of all things wedding, I am dedicating this post to J and B (and J’s Malden for all the hard work (s)he’s put in) as a sort of wedding gift. This was a joint effort by several in the Philofaxy community (thank you to all who helped me put to this together and for all of the ideas that were expressed on Twitter the day of J's wedding, which was the springboard for this entire post).
Please sit back and enjoy…
Indie and Songbird Nonleather
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
on Tuesday, September 18, 2012
at one o'clock in the afternoon
Fast forward to the day of the wedding and envision…
Reverend Portland is officiating:
The choir is singing a delightful version of “There Is Love.”
The groom, while looking stunning in his tails and top hat, is just a bit nervous, for he cannot wait to start his life with his new bride.
But by his side, his fraternal twin and best man offers him all the support he needs.
The congregation waits with baited breath for the bride to enter.
If you look closely, you might just see a celebrity or two.
Photo is mine but you can read more about Josh's famous Cavendish
Turn now, if you will, to the back of the church. Entering now is the ring bearer.
Behind him comes the flower girl.
The maid of honor is looking beautiful too.
Now, please stand as the bride makes her way down the aisle.
Truly, the details are just breathtaking.
As she walks down the aisle, while smiling her angelic smile and looking towards her groom, Deco cannot help noticing how Handsom’s mother has tried to outdo her (as usual) and steal the show, her with her diamond-studded little black number.
However, Deco is nothing if not discreet—she will address this after the wedding.
The vows are exchanged, the pens placed in pen loops, the clasps joined together in holy matrimony.
Inserts and pages flutter as the congregation applauds the newlyweds!
Fast forward to the reception…
Everyone is having a grand time, dancing and eating and drinking. Filos are mingling, chatting each other up. But what is that, over in the corner there? Ah, yes, the loud aunt and uncle whom no one can stand but who are always invited to family gatherings out of respect and loyalty—the Apexes, Aunt Pinkie and Uncle Black.
They’re the kind who like to eat with their mouths open, tell a Filo what to do and how to plan, reveal all of their own secrets (like how many times they open and close their ring mechanisms—so distasteful), and are just generally obnoxious.
But, even with all of their faults, they are not as bad as the black sheep of the family.
Yes, Frank has always been the outcast. He has always been too big for his britches, he with his larger-than-life inserts. He thinks he’s a show-off, but really no one knows where he came from. And that in and of itself is quite the family scandal. Whenever the subject comes up, the Filos don’t say too much but they all raise their eyebrows and give each other that knowing look.
Despite these hiccups, the wedding and reception has gone off without a hitch. Everyone seems to be having a delig—wait! Wait, just a minute. Who invited her? Isn’t that Deco’s friend from college, the one no one wants to be around? The one who always gets drunk at these events and ends up on compromising situations?
Yes, that truly is Affair.
No doubt—as she always does—she will parade around in her lacy getup and her stilettos, looking for a man with whom to get jiggy. She will entice him with her compact figure and lure him into her web of lies and deceit. He will buy her pretty and expensive things until she tires of him and moves on to someone new. She will break his heart.
Ah, well. If nothing else, we have learned that despite all of the bad Filos in the world, there are always good ones too. And with good Filos comes love. There truly is love.
And they lived happily ever after.
No Filos were harmed in the making of this scenario. All Filos have signed waivers and affidavits stating that they do not necessarily possess the attributes displayed here—they are merely acting.
**All photos used with permission of the owners.**